There’s Always Room for Joy

When I heard the announcement that the ship I was going to was going to be used as temporary housing for Ukrainian refugees I was at first surprised by the change. It felt like we were just getting back towards some version of normalcy and this would not be normal. Those thoughts quickly turned to gratitude though. Both for my companies willingness to do this (and cancel regular cruises to do so), but also grateful to have the opportunity to help in whatever small way I could. Unsure of what emotions I might feel I tried to mentally prepare myself for the whole range of emotions. Never did I think that my days would be filled with the sounds of children laughing and playing.

The heartbreaking side of this of course is that a huge majority of the guests onboard are here with children. When you let yourself sit with that thought it is the emotional kind of heavy that somehow transforms from the emotional “heavy” to actually feeling weighted. Don’t worry though, those kids start playing and suddenly your heart has been put back together, a good chunk of that weight seems to have lifted, and you feel like the Grinch as your heart might have just grown three sizes just in that one moment.

Their laughter and giggles are juxtaposed by phone calls and video chats that while I can’t understand the words they say are obviously painful and challenging. The Salvation Army and a team of volunteers are onboard daily helping with whatever they can. The children laughing and playing is almost enough to make you think they’re on a cruise ship for fun and not that they’re looking for safety – often having had to leave loved ones behind. In spite of it all though these kids seem to find joy, and their joy radiates through the ship lightening that emotional weight.

It feels awkward to talk about joy in this circumstance. Maybe it’s just me and I happen to have the perfect combination of dopamine kicks happening – the challenge and excitement of a new job, the joy of helping people, and, of course, seeing my husband again after 6 weeks apart (compared to what these families are going through though those six weeks apart seem nearly trivial to even mention). I think it’s different than all of that though. I definitely still feel a wave of emotions – all it takes is thinking about the situation for a half of a second and you become instantaneously aware of how incredibly perfect your life is – but I just wasn’t expecting to be surrounding by so much laughter. Or little things that both warm you and break you – like the kids picking up their school lunches.

When you work onboard a cruise ship the goal – however lofty and unattainable it might be – is to achieve as close to perfection as possible. We all know it’s not reality, but the goal is to not only give 100% everyday, but to achieve 100% everyday. There are days when you don’t have the energy to give 100%. There are days when, let’s be honest, everything goes wrong and there is no way to achieve that perfection you’re striving for, and frustratingly those days take twice as much effort.

Onboard right now though it feels like we’re living in this world where the goal has shifted to warmth and compassion. Yes, we still want to do everything as perfectly as we can for these guests. The goal of excellence has shifted though. When a little boy was on one of those ride-along-car type toys following his mom down the hall earlier I wasn’t worried that it might disrupt the other guests. I was just happy this kid had a toy to find some joy out of and happy for the mom that the kid was happy. And that seems to be everyone’s perspective onboard, from the guests to the crew. If someone has found a way to find joy – let them.

Wherever you are and whatever you’re going through – if you’re having a bad day think for a second about these kids and remember that if they can find room for joy – so can you.

As always, all views expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent those of my employer.

For privacy reasons I will not be sharing photos featuring any of the guests onboard during the duration of their stay. I will share some pictures of myself, my husband, fellow crew members with their permission, as well as things like sunrises and sunsets. I appreciate your understanding and respect for their privacy.