I’m a Stay At Home Mom on a Cruise Ship – How Does That Work?
The question I get asked most – how does it work sailing together as a family?
For about half the year my family – my husband, our toddler, and myself live onboard a cruise ship. He works for the cruise line as an engineering officer and I am a stay at home mom – living on a cruise ship.
I get asked about this lifestyle a lot, both when we’re onboard the ship and at home when people find out he works on a cruise ship and then when they find out we get to sail with him. Let’s go ahead and answer all those big questions about this slightly un-traditional lifestyle.
If you work on a cruise ship you can bring your family?
Like so many things, it depends! But, there are lots of jobs onboard where you are able to bring your family – in this case meaning spouse and kids – with you when you work on a cruise ship.
Us being able to go with him is one of the perks of his job. The rank of his job is also a factor in that both myself and our daughter can sail with him pretty much the whole time he is onboard working.
Can all crew members working on a cruise ship bring their family with them?
No. Unfortunately this perk doesn’t extend to every crew member onboard. In general all crew members that have their own cabin will have this privilege.
Which crew members can bring their family onboard?
It is typically 2 stripe officers that have their own cabin or various positions that have a “stripe equivalent” position in terms of privileges – this would be some entertainers onboard, and some managers that don’t wear their stripes on their shoulders but get the benefits as if they did.
Some cruise lines will restrict new crew members to the company from using this privilege on their first contract with the company but then they will be eligible on subsequent contracts.
Last contract the Staff Captain had his kids onboard for part of it and let’s just say that hallway was chaos with 3 young kids running around. It’s great when multiple crew families are onboard at the same time!
Some example positions that would likely have this privilege (some variations exist between cruise lines):
- Captain
- Chief Engineer, Staff Captain, Hotel Manager
- Most licensed Technical (Engine) and Nautical (Deck) Officers (they are typically given a single, officers style cabin (double bed) starting even at one stripe to adhere to Maritime Labour Convention rules for cabins for watchkeepers)
- Senior and Mid-Level Hotel Officers such as:
- Food and Beverage Director (plus Restaurant Managers, Beverage Managers)
- Cruise Director
- Executive Housekeeper, Entertainment Director, Guest Services Manager
- Shore Excursions Manager, Front Desk Manager, Assistant Beverage Manager, Assistant Cruise Director
- Human Resource Manager
- Purser/Finance Manager
- Medical Staff including Doctors and nurses
- Some musicians and entertainers (piano bar entertainer, vocalists, headliners)
So, how does it work?
For us the process is fairly simple. We send in a request form and required documentation to this specific department at the corporate office – at least 45 days before sailing – and they review it and hopefully approve it.
Documentation that is generally required includes:
- Passports
- Marriage license (for spouse) or living together agreement (for partner/significant other)
- birth certificate (for children)
Does it cost anything?
We do not have to pay the cruise line anything for us to be onboard the ship. This might surprise some people, but I like to reframe it that it is part of the benefits package. Part of what sweetens the deal to convince people to go live away from home for months at a time.
I’ve read about a few cruise lines that charge a very nominal amount for family to sail – in the couple dollars a day category – but, more commonly in the industry it doesn’t cost anything extra for the crew member.
However, there are some things we need to pay for, such as:
- Pre and Post- Cruise things:
- Transportation/flights to and from the ship.
- Travel insurance
- Any immunizations required for the itinerary (ex. yellow fever)
- Any visas required for the itinerary
- Onboard (this is nearly all discounted or at crew prices):
- Internet
- Spa, shops, drinks
- Tips for room service
- Some specialty dining
There is also the loss of income/retirement contributions from me taking this extended maternity leave – but that’s probably best for a different conversation.
What can you do onboard?
The cruise line we sail with is pretty lenient about the privileges for the family onboard. I usually say the only thing we can’t do is gamble in the casino.
We can eat in the buffet and restaurants, use the pool, go see the shows, listen to music, use the gym.
However, there is an unwritten rule of sorts that guests come first. That could be not using the pool on a busy day, or skipping a show or a lecture if the lounge is super full. I also typically take it to mean that if there is a formal presentation going on and my toddler gets cranky, it’s time to go. That kind of stuff.
Where do you live on the cruise ship? Do they have special family cabins for crew?
There is no special designated cabin for families onboard. The family will stay in the crew members room.
Every once in awhile the ship will arrange a passenger cabin for them, but most of the time any family onboard will stay in the crew members cabin.
Want to take a look at how we live with our little one? Here’s a room tour!
This sometimes will also dictate a bit which crew members bring their families onboard. For instance, the last role I had onboard (while pregnant) before switching into mom-onboard mode I was a 2 stripe officer meaning I had a cabin to myself with a double bed.
However, there was no floor space in this cabin. It overall wasn’t very big and there would be nowhere to put a crib. Unless my husband, our now toddler and myself all wanted to share a bed every night this cabin honestly wouldn’t have been practical to sail as a family for months at a time.
The higher your rank the bigger your cabin though which definitely coordinates to your quality of life onboard when sailing with kids and such in the cabin, too.
How long can you be onboard for?
Most of the time the direct families of crew members with this particular privilege can sail up to a specific number of days per year – often 240 days. For many crew members this means their entire contracts throughout the year.
In my particular situation that means 3 months at a time. For others it may be 4 months or even six months. However, the families do not have to sail for the entire contract. We have sailed as family onboard for as little as a few weeks to as much as 3 1/2 months.
A big bonus is we also don’t have to follow the embarkation and disembarkation ports that passengers typically do. We can usually join mid-cruise or leave mid-cruise without issue. Although we do still have to follow the PVSA or Jones Act rules when sailing in the US.
There are sometimes that there are restrictions on family sailing, these could be:
- Dry dock/ wet dock – while typically allowed to be onboard it’s not always a great choice for young kids
- Age restrictions for babies and infants – typically 6 months minimum or 12 months on longer itineraries with more time out to sea
- A global pandemic shut down of the cruise industry
- If the cruise is very, very sold out and at maximum capacity and it’s deemed there isn’t enough space in the lifeboats for crew families
- You don’t submit your paperwork in time
- It’s your first contract onboard and you’re in a “probation” period
Is there a nanny, school, or daycare onboard?
If the cruise line offers a youth program the “crew kids” will be able to attend if there is space and they meet age requirements. On a particularly busy sailing they may have capacity restrictions but most of the time they’re able to attend.
There isn’t a “nanny” specific to the crew family unless they were to bring one onboard, and there is no set school either.
Living onboard sounds pretty great, is it?
I have such mixed feelings on it because there are some parts of it that are so much easier and there are some parts of it that are so much harder.
Overall, I wouldn’t trade the time together as a family and can really see how it has strengthened the bond between my husband and our little one that might not be there if we were apart for those months.
Here’s a fun little list of what I found easier and what’s more challenging about this particular lifestyle. This is particular to the baby/toddler life.
I imagine as they get older the list changes drastically (check back in the years to come to see how we’re doing!)
| Aspect of Life | Easier Parts | Challenges |
|---|---|---|
| Meals | – No prep! Ready for you. – No real clean up afterwards (aside from not leaving a huge mess for the other crew) – Large variety of food for the little one to try – Room service | – Having nearly every meal in a public place is hard – Lots of distractions from actually eating – Big emotions, and natural developmental moments are not always ideal for other guests – Hard to keep their “favorite” foods on hand for those picky moments. – the perpetual hunt and challenge of finding aa high chair and a tray to go with it. |
| Sleep | …there is none with sleep | – All in the same cabin – Announcements and alarms for drills, medical emergencies, immigration reminders, etc – Knowing your neighbors on either side of you work 70+ hours a week and not wanting to keep them up with a baby crying |
| Playtime | – There are lots of playgrounds around the world where she can interact with kids from so many cultures | – There is no designated play space for kids under 3 on my husbands cruise line which means we have to create it… and that can be challenging and exhausting. |
| Housekeeping | – No dishes (except in cabin) – Cabin steward comes to clean the room twice a week – Just a cabin to keep tidy instead of a house | – The biggest challenge here is just lack of space. Otherwise this part is much easier. * Of note: whre our cabin is I have easy access to a washer/dryer, large sink for any dishes, microwave, and ice machine |
| Support/”The Village” | – When you have a village onboard it’s great! Support is close by. – Hubby is there! Not always immediately available but he’s there. | – Ship life is very transient so having a network of people you trust is hard as it might be nearly all new people each contract. – Hubby has to be at his job for about 70 hours a week, so not always available. – No grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins around. 🙁 Definitely misses out on some of the other part of family time. |
Want to know more about cruising with a baby? Check out this post or take a look at my must-haves packing list.
Where do you get to go?
Wherever the ship goes! Luckily we sail with Holland America Line that is known for its incredible itineraries. This means we get to sail around the world!
There are times that we’ll sail on repeating itineraries, meaning going the same route over and over again, but even that can be interesting as you get more and more familiar with the ports that you visit. Getting a chance to know the place so much better.
Is Being a Stay at Home Mom on a Cruise Ship Great?
In a lot of ways, yes. In a lot of ways, not so much. I think regardless of where you are raising children there are going to be challenges. There are some challenges that feel more pronounced onboard than at home but when you go home there are some challenges that exist that don’t really on a ship.
The biggest benefit is that we can be together as a family. Hands down that makes it all worth it.
There’s also this crazy benefit that my toddler has been to 24 countries on 5 continents. And, while she might not “remember it” somewhere in her she’s absorbing seeing, meeting, and interacting with people from different countries, hearing their languages, experiencing their cultures.
Whether it is seeing penguins in Antarctica, exploring the Amazon River, going to a mosque in Casablanca, eating pasta in Italy, going to the Pyramids in Egypt. She’s experiencing so much of the world. Which will hopefully help make her an empathetic and caring person.
Like anything in life there are challenges. But, it’s pretty darn cool to explore the world together.
