I am currently wrapping up another travel related quarantine and today has had the most dismal (and oh so stereotypically Scottish) weather. I have been doing all the things they say to do. I have been exercising, eating pretty well, and limiting my alcohol intake. I am journaling and starting my days off writing down things I am grateful for. Today when I looked outside and the weather had me down in the dumps I did some stretching and then decided to make homemade ravioli and homemade pasta sauce instead of binge watching TV. I am doing my best to do the things for my mental health and I have been trying to be productive and positive. I started another online course (a free COVID-19 Contact Tracing Course offered in conjunction with Johns Hopkins University and Coursera) and have been working on this blog.
I have got a heavy amount of pandemic fatigue though. Do all the things that you hear on podcasts and read about and whatnot, but this pandemic is really starting to be a bummer. It’s some combination of a lack of work opportunities, complete uncertainty as to when my hubby will go back to work (which makes it challenges to plan pretty much anything in our lives), and probably a little something to do with having spent nearly 2 months of this year in quarantine, and 3 months of it on a ship with no where to go. Wanting to move forward is hard when you are literally forced to stand still. I’ve heard still water runs deep; and holy hell all of this stillness has brought me to what at times feels like the depths of my soul and at others feels a touch like the depths of my sanity. Those moments I’ve realized that I don’t want to live my life is a constant state of chaos and doubled down on the concept that I want something that is mine to make succeed. Alas, when I wrote this a few weeks ago I was so out of focus that I didn’t realize that I have already started it with this blog.
For myself, for my head, for me, for me to move forward in this time of standing still, this is the project of mine that I can control right now. So, I have been putting a bit more into figuring out how to make this blog successful, both in readership and also as an income generating source. I have been researching other blogs, figuring out what else is out there, looking at what their doing and figuring out how to emulate some of the good things they were doing. All the clarity and then discouragement – all these other blogs have so many followers and seem so successful. How will I get from where I am now, to there? I always knew it was going to take awhile but is it even going to be worth it? Then, I came across a blogger touting his expertise with 70 days at sea and I realized I can do it.
Seventy days at sea is great! That is far more than most people will spend in their lifetime. But, seeing his 70 days gave me hope that if I continue to persevere I will find success in this. To put it comparatively, I did a little counting up myself and I have spent a whopping 1110 days of my life on a cruise ship. I will toss in that 617 of those were on our beautiful m/s Amsterdam that was sold this summer, but still! I saw this and thought to myself, if he can be successful offering advice and insight to people after 70 days at sea, I can, too.
For now, I shall be like Dory, I shall keep swimming, and maybe, (and in this case let’s call me finding success in one way or another “Nemo”), I shall find Nemo.
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