It is a truth universally acknowledged that a person in search of a job must wait an eternity to hear a response. Now, this is not how Jane Austen intended that quote to be paraphrased. However, as I have a husband, and as the quote originally relates to a man in want of a wife, I think I’ll take the liberty of paraphrasing it for my purposes.
Hello. My name is Iris and I am in day 5 of email purgatory. I look at the clock. I count backwards by 8. While at this point my brain logically thinks “it is only 4:00am in Seattle”, I click the little icon for my email on my phone and give myself a moment to hope that somehow overnight an email came through telling me any variation of good news.
I wait until it is 8:00am in Seattle. I try again. I set alarms on my phone so that I can’t check it more than once every hour. I find myself immersed in a task and time has flown by, until I remember that I am waiting for an email, and back to it I go.
The song goes “waiting is the hardest part” and oh my goodness it is. It is hope. One of the most important while simultaneously being among the most dangerous of all of the four letter words. Hope is what prompts us to get up and keep going. Hope is what keeps me checking my email. It is also what will make it hurt so much more if my email purgatory keeps going until one day I realize – it’s never coming, and then all of that hope will inevitably crush me like I am a cartoon character.
However, if you’ve been following along very long, you know a few things about me:
- I am in a mental place that while I really want this job I do not need this job to feel complete.
- I am in a super lucky and privileged position that if I don’t get this job my husband and I are still financially stable and I realize that in itself is a luxury the majority of people do not have.
- It doesn’t mean I don’t still want to work, so give a girl a break!
- Lastly, if I get knocked down, I will always get back up again (much like that Wile E Coyote! Is he my spirit animal?)
While I will always get back up again it doesn’t make this waiting part any easier. Everyone knows how crappy it is to wait. Anyone who has waited for that boy or that girl to call (or text) you back, waiting to find out if you got into your top college, or like me today, waiting for a Meg Ryan “You’ve Got Mail” moment (but with a job and not a guy).
Eventually though I’ll stop waiting. Either because I got an email or I didn’t, and either way life will continue to move forward. This will not be the thing that stops the earth from spinning, and tomorrow will be another day…
of waiting… (JK – well, sort of – it hasn’t even been a week yet so let’s not give up all hope guys!)