One More Time… With Feeling!

Today I am applying for another job.

Anyone who has been following my journey in trying to find a job onboard knows the majority of the story. The super abridged version of the story is: I left my old job on board in search of a new job on board. Whether it be for many many changes to the structure of the Entertainment Department, or if I actually was blacklisted (my old boss was pissed – but she has since been let go due to restructuring – maybe this will help, too?), I do not know. I do know however that a job offer is yet to come my way.

What that means is that I have been having to deal with some serious rejection. The interesting part is you don’t quite know when it becomes rejection. Many times when you are dealing with a large corporation you won’t hear anything back unless it is good news. So, you send all of your application materials in and then you wait, and wait some more. You keep hope! It’s only been a few days – they could still email back. And then slowly, that hope turns into the dooming reality of: rejection.

As I am writing this for some reason in my head it is coming through like a trailer for a movie: coming to Iris this January it’s: Rejection!

Anyways, I try to stay positive. I think good thoughts. I put the effort in to send out what I think is the best representation of myself, and then I wait, and I hope, and when I hear nothing back, I feel defeated. I wait a little while, I build up the courage, and then I try again.

This cycle has repeated about four times now.

Let’s go back to last March shall we – probably the most discouraging one yet. I am on the ship (sailing as Fiance on Board), I have a valid medical certificate (required to be able to work on a ship). I meet with a department head to talk about working in her department. She thinks that would be great! I’ve known her for years at this point. She sends out a glowing email to the head office. “Iris is on board; she wants to work for us! We are short staffed, she has management experience and has a valid medical. Can we get the process started? She would be great and I would love to have her on my team!” She emails with them a bit, then I email with them – and then because I do not speak another language fluently I am entirely taken off of the list.

Okay, frustrating. The majority of our guests speak English so I am a little annoyed that they won’t even consider me. The kicker though: they fly someone to the ship (that speaks another language), they work for ONE WEEK, decide the ship life isn’t for them and then quit.

So, me, who has been around ship life for nearly a decade and has some badass appraisals under her belt, but doesn’t speak another language is a hard pass – but this chick from The Netherlands that has never sailed on a ship before but speaks Dutch is a great choice — who then quits one week later. 

If you’ve ever sailed on Holland America Line you know there is a Dutch influence. But, unless you are sailing on the Rotterdam, it’s not truly a necessity to know the language.

Aaaarrghgghgh!!

So, situations like these happen and then I am left feeling… a bit down, shall we say. (Ask Stuart about this, each one feels like a crushing blow to my ego and self esteem). But, alas, much like the song “I get knocked down, and I get up again!” And I get up. “you’re never gonna keep me down!” They knock me down. “I get knocked down, and I get up again!”

Today is it though. Today is the day I write in and I don’t get knocked down. Today is the day I at least get a response.

And do you want to know why today is the day? Because, for the first time since I’ve started this whole cycle, even though I want this job – I don’t need this job to complete me as a person. About a week ago I wrote a post about contentment, and I’ve really been trying to embrace it. Overall in my life I am quite content, and if I don’t get this job I won’t be less of who I am. I won’t be less me.

That’s why today is the day that it will work, and even though I’ve got knocked down, even if today isn’t the day and it doesn’t work –  they are never gonna keep me down.

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